Prayers for Evangelical Believers:
A Prayer Written for One Whose Spouse Has Had an Affair When the Offender Seems Repentant
by Ed Vasicek
Note: This was written to folks going through such a time and is therefore written in first person; this prayer does not reflect a personal experience by the author.
Dear Father in heaven,
I still cannot believe it. Iíve heard of other people whose spouses were unfaithful, but I never thought it would strike home. I did not anticipate that my spouse would hurt me in such a painful way, a pain that penetrates into my inner being. I do not know if I am angry, devastated, guilty of failure, foolish or a victim. Perhaps the combination of feelings I am experiencing cannot be described by mere words.
Lord, You are going to need to help me to process the upheaval taking place in my heart. There is so much to sort out. Will I ever be able to forgive my spouse? If so, will I ever be able to trust my lifeís partner again? How long will it take for me to feel whole and human again? What can I do with the brokenness that drains me or the anger that rages within me?
I want a guarantee that this will never happen again. I want things fixed. But an external solution cannot resolve the tsunami thatís swept over my soul. It canít be fixed today and healed tomorrow. Like a festering deep wound, the dangers of infection and setbacks are all too real.
Although I might like to think otherwise, I am not a robot who works on logic alone. I have feelings and am fully human. And sometimes it is not so nice to be human. I canít just ďget over it,Ē though I would love to do so. Instead, I must struggle through this with you.
Not only do I have to struggle with issues of forgiveness, trust, and regaining my own sense of self respect, so does my straying spouse. I want our marriage to be healed, but yet I am afraid my anger and the distance I feel will drive my partner further away from me. But I must get over that fear, Lord. If we are to get better, we both must take responsibility for ourselves. Betrayal has consequences, not because I want them, but because I am human. It is going to take me time, lots of time. Help me and my spouse to accept that, but also to believe that You are a God of grace and healing.
Lord, countless thousands, even millions have felt what I feel. You have restored so many marriages. People do not usually advertise it, but I know the statistics. So, Lord, if I am not willing to forgive now, please make me willing to be made willing. I know trust builds over time, and you do not expect me to immediately trust the repentant, but you do expect me to begin the forgiveness process with at least expressing a willingness to forgive.
I pray, Lord, that, during this fragile time, you would help my spouse and I to rebuild together. Help us to develop a healthier and closer marriage than we had. Help us develop skills that will result in us experiencing a satisfying marriage in the future. Lead us to counselors and friends who will nurture us in the right direction. Lord, with Your help and with time, help us not only see the damage healed, but our marriage and level of closeness deepened.
I pray in the Name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
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Highland Park Church